Can play teach empathy?

Play · 5 min read · Evidence: Mixed

Pretend play and role-play are often said to build empathy. The research supports a link, but it is weaker than many websites suggest. What seems to matter is not the costume but the conversation around it.

When a four-year-old plays shop, doctor or family, they are trying on someone else's role. It is easy to see why adults assume this teaches children to understand other people. Many parenting and teaching resources state it as fact.

What the research says

In 2013, a team led by psychologist Angeline Lillard reviewed more than 150 studies on pretend play and children's development. Their conclusion was more cautious than many expected. They found some support for links between pretend play and language, storytelling, social development and self-regulation, but little good evidence that pretend play itself causes gains in creativity, intelligence or problem-solving. Much of the older research could not tell whether pretend play helps development, or whether children who are already socially skilled simply pretend more (Lillard et al., 2013; ScienceDaily, 2012).

Other researchers responded that the review set the bar too high and that play is hard to study with experiments. The debate is useful for teachers and parents because it points to what we can do with more confidence: play that includes adult questions, talk about feelings and taking turns in different roles gives children practice in the things empathy depends on.

Turning play into empathy practice

• Name feelings during play. "Your teddy looks worried. What might it be thinking?"

• Swap roles. The child who was the shopkeeper becomes the customer. Ask what was different.

• Retell from another side. After a story or a disagreement, ask a child to tell it as the other person.

• Look for fair solutions. Empathy is not only feeling with someone; it is also doing something about it.

Try this tomorrow. Play Two Sides of the Story with an invented situation: "Ali borrowed Deniz's pencil and it broke." Two children tell it as Ali and as Deniz, and the group suggests one fair fix.

Related resource: our free Play Starter Guide includes Face Detective and Two Sides of the Story, two games for naming feelings and seeing another point of view.

Sources / Further reading

• Lillard, A. S., Lerner, M. D., Hopkins, E. J., Dore, R. A., Smith, E. D., & Palmquist, C. M. (2013). The impact of pretend play on children's development: A review of the evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 1-34. Link

• ScienceDaily (2012). Pretend play may not be as crucial to child development as believed, new study shows. Link

• Walker, S., Weisberg, D. S., & Gopnik, A. (2013). Does pretend play matter? Searching for evidence: Comment on Lillard et al. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1). Link